The script, which Cory Goodman has written, finds one of the last remaining witch hunters in his family (Diesel) doing what he does best: basket weaving hunting witches. No, it’s not the story of a sad little warrior left in the shop after all his crone-killing friends are bought up by death-happy kiddies. On one hand, Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner are coming to take them down (albeit after a bit of a delay), and now the cauldron-using community may have to contend with Vin Diesel starring in The Last Witch Hunter. But it appears they are in Hollywood’s crosshairs once again.
So instead, there's a moment in which Chloe literally begs Kaulder to keep going, pleading, "The world needs you! I need you!" as he makes a choice that renders a lot of the drama that came before pointless.You know, with Hallowe'en coming up next month, you’d think witches would already have enough to think about. The whole thing would, in anyone else's hands, set up Kaulder getting to live life as a mortal, to age, and to die, except that wouldn't allow Diesel to continue playing the character as superhuman, were the film to get the sequel the actor claims is already in the works. The movie's overall arc involves a revelation about Kaulder's curse and a conspiracy to bring the Witch Queen back. And The Last Witch Hunter ends on a particularly ridiculous "this will be a series, dammit" note. His weaknesses include preferring to work alone and getting a little lonely between picking up flight attendants, which are so barely weaknesses that the movie has to invent a grand betrayal to allow for any conflict.ĭiesel loves his franchises - he fought to make the third Riddick film happen even when most of the rest of the world seemed pretty ready to let that character go. He is a cheat code incarnate, hilariously indulgent, and his hobby is fixing watches, as if the whole man-out-of-time thing needed a visual metaphor to really hammer it home. He's "cursed" with immortality, his wounds healing as soon as they're inflicted, so he's, by his own admission, never afraid. He works for some organization within the Catholic Church called the Axe and the Cross, mostly so that they can refer to him in whispers as "the Weapon" and assign him a Buffy-style handler called a Dolan who keeps a history of all of his badass adventures (Michael Caine, then Elijah Wood). Kaulder has infinite money, tasteful designer clothes, and a closet full of magical items. Yes, Dom in the Fast & Furious seems like a character who's indestructible and never wrong, but he has nothing on Kaulder. Present-day Kaulder is the manliest man to have ever lived forever in an extremely lavish apartment overlooking Central Park and fight using a flaming sword.
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